GITMO

Geronimoooo... I mean... Guantanamoooo!!!

People have many quetsions about this US prison for POWs in the war on terror. Liberals/Doves want the place closed down, they say there are too many 10 year olds there who are undernourished and who are clearly unable to take up jihad and mount surface to air missile launchers.

Hawks have this to say "We caught that 10 year old launching a missile on tape, but we cannot produce the tape just yet, the NY times has to leak that tape for us. And then we have to chastise the leakage." Blah blah blah. In any case, as I said earlier, sheeple, especially average Americans, have many questions.

All along I have only had one question about GITMO. Only one. Why the hell does this military installation have a lame ass nickname - I see it on TV and I always think GIMPMO or just GIMP. Ok, I lied that wasn't my real question.

But seriously folks, I've always wanted to know only one thing about GITMO - Why the HELL is it in Cuba !!?? Are you not freakin' asking yourself how the hell we have an 8,500 person strong military base on the soil of our arch nemisis? Gitmo is bigger than all those mountain towns on the way to Tahoe, combined!

Strange how the post WWII world works... Again I must ask... How does the USA have a base in Cuba - not on some island that's close to Cuba, mind you, not in Miami, FL... but on the eastern end of la isla de cuba!!!

Some fast facts about GITMO (or GTMO):

• It was founded in 1903 as part of the resolution of the Spanish-American War
• Fidel hates it - read what he thinks.
  
• Yes, it's part of an indefinite lease-back program and we send Fidel a rent check every year in the amunt of $4085.
  
• Fidel only cashed the first check he received upon his rise to power, he has reportedly never cashed a single check thereafter.
  
• I love the Buena Vista Social Club - they are awesome, especially "Chan Chan".
  
• Menlo High School (the snobby private one that costs 30 k per year to attend) sends students to Cuba on field trips to learn about Jazz and really old water distribution methods.
  
• My HS spanish teacher went to cuba, but she had to go through Panama first.
  
• Every documentary I've ever seen on cuba makes it seem like a time capsule stuck in the 1950s (this includes Godfather II). In this respect Cuba shares a lot in common with N. Korea (and S. Korea is like our GTMO on the Korean Penninsula - we even have a mine ridden DMZ there!!! YAY!) Apparently we've gotten rid of the US mines in our DMZ with Cuba.

<-- Stanford Frat Rush OR Gitmo-sumo training camp? You be the judge. For more learning visit: Wikipedia Entry
Official US Navy Website on Guantanamo

Next time... What in the heck is going on in Sri Lanka, who or what in the name of God are the Tamil Tigers, and why do I even care?