Imagine...

I sent this to a friend earlier, but it captures the way I feel this sweltering sunday evening-

I'm listening to the Beatles after a few week hiatus and I'm just so thankful for them. In this time of religious conflict and unfettered hate, I'm happy to find hopeful (if not also tearful) solace in the poetry of John Lennon's "Imagine".

Click the link to listen to the oh-so-crunchy song. Take a drive over to another big Beatles fan.

Don't take "in this time" to indicate the naive conception of a recently synthesized struggle, but rather, a long cultural memory ingrained in my being - in the immortal words of Pete Townsend, "Meet the new boss... same as the old boss!"

Amateur Historians & Family Trees

I have a confession to make. All my friends know me to be an avid supporter of public broadcasting, however, what they may not know is that I recently began a love affair with two PBS shows: Antiques Roadshow & History Detectives. I love it when the woman with spiky hair and thick rim glasses uncovers a dark secret of congressional proportions simply by researching the origins and curious intersections of antebellum coinage and Nordic royalty... Intriguing eh? Recent episodes of this show plus a timely visit by my paternal uncle, have inspired me to do some family-history sleuthing myself. I've learned some fascinating stuff:

[the following revelations were inspired by a family photo taken in 1954]

1. I can now trace my paternal line back to the mid 1700s!
2. Turns out that my oldest known great^nth power grandfather was an important revenue collector of a medium sized kingdom.
3. My great-grandfather died in 1901 of the plague during the bubonic plague of the late 19th and early 20th, century, also known as the Third Pandemic.
4. Aforesaid great-grandfather died around his son's (my grandfather) 1st birthday.

The last fact is rather exciting to me, because it suggests that I may not exist today had my great grandfather died around 1899 or earlier. Of course, my excitement presupposes that I'm not a determinist and that I believe in free will. Free will? Now there's a silly thought!

Do you like either Antiques Roadshow or History Detectives? Are you interested in tracing your family roots? I'd love to hear specific or intentionally vague details about where YOUR ancestors hail from.*

*So long as you don't write that you're 1/32nd native american or that Wyatt Earp is your direct maternal ancestor.

Women & The LARGE Sunglasses Trend

As an avid admirer of women, I've been wondering whether or not I like the haute couture of wearing large over-the-eyes-lashes-brows, sunglasses. I've come up with a simple hypothetical syllogism to deduce my reaction this new trend.

Regardless of the absolute attractiveness of a woman...

1. All women who embrace the accoutrements that negate their superficial blemishes, become more attractive to me.
2. The large stunna shades women wear these days hide, from the admirer, any flaws in the eye, bridge, under-eye, eye-brows.

Therefore, I am more attracted to women who wear the large stunna shades in question.

... Especially when they're otherwise hot.

GITMO

Geronimoooo... I mean... Guantanamoooo!!!

People have many quetsions about this US prison for POWs in the war on terror. Liberals/Doves want the place closed down, they say there are too many 10 year olds there who are undernourished and who are clearly unable to take up jihad and mount surface to air missile launchers.

Hawks have this to say "We caught that 10 year old launching a missile on tape, but we cannot produce the tape just yet, the NY times has to leak that tape for us. And then we have to chastise the leakage." Blah blah blah. In any case, as I said earlier, sheeple, especially average Americans, have many questions.

All along I have only had one question about GITMO. Only one. Why the hell does this military installation have a lame ass nickname - I see it on TV and I always think GIMPMO or just GIMP. Ok, I lied that wasn't my real question.

But seriously folks, I've always wanted to know only one thing about GITMO - Why the HELL is it in Cuba !!?? Are you not freakin' asking yourself how the hell we have an 8,500 person strong military base on the soil of our arch nemisis? Gitmo is bigger than all those mountain towns on the way to Tahoe, combined!

Strange how the post WWII world works... Again I must ask... How does the USA have a base in Cuba - not on some island that's close to Cuba, mind you, not in Miami, FL... but on the eastern end of la isla de cuba!!!

Some fast facts about GITMO (or GTMO):

• It was founded in 1903 as part of the resolution of the Spanish-American War
• Fidel hates it - read what he thinks.
  
• Yes, it's part of an indefinite lease-back program and we send Fidel a rent check every year in the amunt of $4085.
  
• Fidel only cashed the first check he received upon his rise to power, he has reportedly never cashed a single check thereafter.
  
• I love the Buena Vista Social Club - they are awesome, especially "Chan Chan".
  
• Menlo High School (the snobby private one that costs 30 k per year to attend) sends students to Cuba on field trips to learn about Jazz and really old water distribution methods.
  
• My HS spanish teacher went to cuba, but she had to go through Panama first.
  
• Every documentary I've ever seen on cuba makes it seem like a time capsule stuck in the 1950s (this includes Godfather II). In this respect Cuba shares a lot in common with N. Korea (and S. Korea is like our GTMO on the Korean Penninsula - we even have a mine ridden DMZ there!!! YAY!) Apparently we've gotten rid of the US mines in our DMZ with Cuba.

<-- Stanford Frat Rush OR Gitmo-sumo training camp? You be the judge. For more learning visit: Wikipedia Entry
Official US Navy Website on Guantanamo

Next time... What in the heck is going on in Sri Lanka, who or what in the name of God are the Tamil Tigers, and why do I even care?